Holly Blue and the Awful Horrible Very Not Good Day
by Dragon Elexus
Summary: Holly Blue Agate had been a happy Gem, with a happy job and a happy life. Then she had a very awful, horrible, not-nice, really blue day, when a bunch of nasty Amethysts stole her whole zoo. The days only got worse after that.
1. Chapter 1

**Holly Blue and the Awful Horrible Very Not Good Day  
Chapter One**

Holly Blue Agate was a very important Gem.

She had an important job minding an important Zoo for an important Diamond. Blue Diamond. It was nice to be so important!

Blue Diamond had given Holly Blue Agate many nice things to help her work. She had:

A very nice hangar, for all of the nice ships that came to visit.

A very nice window, to look at the humans in their nice zoo.

A very nice cubby, where she could send Naughty Quartzes for a Time Out.

But one of the nicest things of all that Holly Blue had was a nice whip. It was blue and it went _whizzz_ and _whee_ and _zap_! If Holly Blue found someone who was up to no good, the nice blue whip would make them be good again.

Holly Blue Agate thought that her job was very nice indeed!

But then, one day, something happened that was Not So Nice.

That day, Holly Blue found a bunch of Naughty Quartzes who were being very naughty indeed! They were playing in the Zoo's engine room. In fact, it was dangerous! Holly Blue yelled at them and told them to get out.

"No!" the Quartzes cried.

"Get out!" Holly Blue said again.

"NO!" the Quartzes cried again.

So Holly Blue took out her whip to make them behave.

But then one of the Quartzes hit her in the stomach- _oof_! And another hit her in the head- _bang_! And someone heavy fell onto her back- _ouch_!

"Stop!" Holly Blue yelled. "Why are you doing this?"

"We don't like you," said Amethyst 8XJ.

"You hurt us," said Amethyst 8XL.

"You're mean," said Carnelian 4ZL, which was not a nice thing to say at all _!_

The Quartzes pressed buttons and pulled levers. Things _beeped_ and _booped_ and _blipped_.

"What are you doing?" Holly Blue said. It was hard to talk because her tummy really hurt.

"We're leaving," said Amethyst 8XJ.

Holly Blue thought these Quartzes were being very silly indeed. "Where could you possibly go?"

"Where we were made," said Jasper 9VJ.

"Our home," said Carnelian 4XL.

"Earth," said Amethyst 8XL. She pressed one last button. There was a flash of light and the engine _ROARED_!

The very bad Quartzes stole the whole zoo. The whole zoo!

That wasn't nice. That was terrible!

oOoOo

 **Author's Note:** Big thank you to Airamcg and DrJekyl for the editing and help on this ridiculous, ridiculous thing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Holly Blue Agate was having a very awful, horrible, not-nice, really blue day. She wanted to go back to Homeworld.

The Naughty Quartzes took her to a tiny little planet in a galaxy far, far away. Holly Blue did not like it. She did not like it at all! The air did not smell nice and there was dirt everywhere, which wasn't very nice either. And when they pulled her out of the Zoo, there was a _human_ waiting for her.

It barked and barked and held out its ugly tiny dirty hand.

When Holly Blue yelled at it, it growled and someone punched her in the face. How rude!

All of the Gems on Earth were very rude.

The Quartzes had always been rude, of course, always yelling and running and wrestling with each other, but here no one would hit them when they were too loud, or even tell them to stop.

There was a Sapphire, but her Grand Clarity was a very silly Sapphire, who always walked around fused with a lowly Ruby. How disgusting!

There was a Lapis who never smiled and didn't even like water. How unnerving!

There was an Era 2 peridot who didn't even bother to wear limb enhancers, and never stayed at her post. How shameful!

But rudest of all was the Pearl.

"Did you really have to bring her?" the Pearl asked the Quartzes, when they'd all gotten out of the Zoo.

"We couldn't just leave her to be shattered," said one of the Amethysts.

"Hmmm," said the Pearl, and she gave Holly Blue a very mean look.

The noisy little human barked again.

"Can't we get rid of that thing?" Holly Blue hissed.

"Can't we bubble you?" Pearl hissed back.

"Mind your tongue!" said Holly Blue.

"If you haven't noticed, I have a spear. You have your hands cuffed behind your back." Pearl pressed a sharp weapon against Holly's neck, which was very, very, very rude. "If anyone should be minding their tongue here, it's you."

Holly Blue tried to keep very, very quiet after that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Holly Blue was put under what the Crystal Gems called 'Limited Freedom'.

This meant Holly Blue was not poofed and put into a bubble. Instead she was allowed to walk around, but she had her hands tied tight behind her back, and there was always someone watching her.

This supervisor was almost always the fusion or the Pearl, who were almost always with the Quartzes. As silly and stupid as the Crystal Gems were, they weren't so silly or stupid to let the Quartzes wander around on their own. But they didn't make the Quartzes tie their hands. This was not very smart. The Quartzes were always pushing and hitting each other, and making such a ruckus.

The little human always trotted at their heels, yelping and running around. It was very annoying. Holly Blue wanted to kick it, but she was being super nice and did not.

Earth was a loud place. The Quartzes were loud. The humans were loud. The wind was loud. The ocean was loud. The 'cars' were loud. Loud _loud **LOUD**_.

Holly Blue wanted to scream.

They showed her sand, which hurt her feet. They showed her grass, which tickled her feet. They showed her water, which made her feet cold.

They showed her 'food', which was processed organic matter you could ingest. Holly Blue thought it was sticky and weird. Food was for 'eating', which meant putting it in your mouth and shapeshifting a 'digestive system'. Shapeshifting was a dishonour to your intended form, and Holly Blue told them that. The smallest Amethyst told her to lighten up. The thin Jasper threw a 'donut' at her head. They all laughed.

Rude.

Holly Blue did not want to stay on this messy, loud, ugly planet with its messy, loud, ugly Gems. And she wasn't going to.

Holly Blue came up with a plan.

oOoOo

 **Author's Note:** Thanks so much for the kind words, folks! I'm really enjoying writing this one, so I'm glad people are having fun reading it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Holly Blue knew she didn't have a lot of time before escape became impossible.

The Crystal Gems were building a cell for her. A real one to keep her in, when they were too busy or too lazy to watch her. There were plenty of cells in the Zoo they could have used, but for some reason, they didn't want to. Instead they were making one super special, just for her.

With how slow and incompetent these Gems were, Holly Blue knew this would take a while, but she still didn't want to wait too long.

It was a good thing she did not have to. It took only a few days before she was given her chance. She was left to the watch of the Peridot and the Lapis. This was a very bad, very idea for many, many reasons.

First: Peridots and Lapis Lazulis were not made to be guards.

Second: they were guarding her in a flimsy 'wooden' lab.

Third: they kept getting distracted and not guarding her at all.

They squabbled, and they joked, and they played, and they watched 'TV', and really, this all just went to show why Gems should stay with their own kind. So unproductive!

Finally the Lapis Lazuli went to lie down with her eyes closed. Finally the Peridot to work on building the holding cell. Soon the place was filled with the _clangs_ , _whizzes_ , _bangs_ and _roars_ of her tools.

Nobody was watching Holly Blue. Nobody could hear her.

In a place so full of equipment, she was sure she would find a way to get free of her handcuffs.

First she tried rubbing her restraints against a post, but they did not fray.

Next she tried cutting them with a knife, but it was too short.

Third she tried breaking them with a file, but that was when the Peridot saw her.

"What are you doing!" the Peridot yelled.

Holly Blue kicked her.

The Peridot was very small, so the kick sent her very far. She went ' _oof_ ' when she hit the wall.

Holly Blue did not wait to see if the Peridot would get up.

She ran.

She ran out of the flimsy lab, past the pool of water, over the hills covered in the tickly grass. She jumped into the warp pad, and disappeared in a _whoosh_. She warped to the Crystal Gem temple, which was empty. There was no one to stop her, so she ran out of there too. Run, run, run, run down from the ugly fusion statue, run all the way to a Roaming Eye ship, parked on the beach. Get in; fly to the Zoo; fly the Zoo to Homeworld.

That was the plan.

But it was harder than Holly had thought. The sand was hard to run on, so she nearly fell three times. And her hands were tied behind her back, so she could not put them on on the lock-pad. She stood with her back to the ship, wiggling her hands, trying to press them against the lock.

She saw the blue warp beam shoot up from the hand of a big ugly fusion statue. Holly Blue worked faster. The Crystal Gems were coming to stop her.

But it was just the Peridot and the Lapis Lazuli. Phew. They weren't dangerous at all.

Holly Blue felt the lock pad under her hand. _Beep!_

The spaceship's doors opened. She was in! She could leave!

But before she could, the Lapis Lazuli raised her hand. Behind her, Holly Blue a loud, loud _whooshing_ sound. She looked up, and saw water. Lots and lots of water. A giant wave coming down to hit her, right on the head.

It really, really hurt.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

When Holly Blue regenerated, she found herself in a cell.

It was shaped like a box. It was not very big box. He head touched the ceiling.

The ceiling was green. The floor was green. Three of the walls were green.

The fourth wall was not green. It was yellow. It wasn't even really a wall. It was an energy field. Holly Blue did not touch it. That would hurt and dissipate her physical form.

If she looked through the yellow energy field, she could see sand. Past the sand was water, going on and on and on. The ocean.

It was not long until the fusion came. She said that maybe they'd let Holly Blue out the cell sometimes, but that right now they just did not have the time to watch her.

"We will not tolerate you attacking us," the fusion said, not even apologizing for how the Lapis Lazuli had attacked Holly Blue.

But then Holly Blue hadn't apologized either.

The fusion stood there, as if waiting for something. That something never happened. She went away, and Holly Blue was left alone.

 _Good riddance_ , Holly Blue thought. She didn't want to be around a gross fusion anyway.

The only good thing about the cell was that her hand-restraints were gone. Finally she could stretch her hands.

After stretching them, Holly Blue punched one of the green cell walls just to see if it would break. It didn't. It just made her hand hurt.

She sat down.

She was tired of this. She missed Homeworld. She missed people doing what she said. She missed being able to do what she wanted.

Holly Blue began to cry.

At some point the little human came and sat down outside the cell. Holly Blue was too sad even to yell at it. And that was okay, because for once the little human wasn't yelping or barking, so Holly could pretend it wasn't even there.

Holly Blue cried for a long time. Eventually she stopped. The only sound was the waves from the big watery ocean. Otherwise, it was very, very quiet.

Then a voice said, "You're not making this easy."

Holly Blue looked up. She did not see anyone.

She got as close to the energy field as she could. She looked left. She looked right. She did not see a single Gem.

The whole beach was empty.

Except for the small human.

A very silly idea came to Holly Blue.

"Did you say that?" she asked the human.

"Uh… yes?" said the human.

Holly Blue blinked. "You can _talk_?"

"No, _duh_ ," said the human. "Since when can you understand me?"'

Holly Blue stared at it.

Humans were not meant to talk. They just barked, and yapped, and made a mess.

She didn't really want to talk to a loud, messy, annoying human, but there was no one else to talk to. And anyway, it _was_ pretty amazing that a human had learned to talk.

"It _is_ pretty amazing that a human has learned to talk," she told it.

The human rolled its eyes. "I've always been able to talk."

"No you haven't."

"Yeah, I have." The human dragged its hands through the dirty gross sand. "Pearl told me that Gems can understand any language. That way even if we've been in completely different galaxies for thousands of years, we can still talk to each other. But you haven't bothered to try to understand _anything_ since you got here."

"What is there to understand about this backwater planet that turns gems into monsters?" asked Holly Blue. "The place that shattered a Diamond?"

The little human gave Holly Blue a long look. "You could try to find out."

"I don't want to find out!" Holly Blue cried. "The Quartzes attacked me. They kidnapped me. They dragged me here. Now they're running free and nobody's acting right at all."

"Yeah, well, Blue Diamond kidnapped my Dad, and you didn't seem to care about _that._ "

"What does that have to do with anything? Hah! Comparing an Agate to a human. How ridiculous!"

"Ugh! That's exactly my point!" The human stood up. "You're _hearing_ me now, but you're not LISTENING! The humans and Gems here have offered you food, and tried to give you clothes and hang out with you, and you just sat there and growled! They're smart and funny and generous, and all you want to do is be sad that you're not allowed to hit people and order them around!"

Holly Blue Agate said nothing.

The human got up and walked away. She thought about calling it back, but that would be very silly. So she stayed quiet, and let the human go.


End file.
